Most of us contended souls will be troubled if asked to find faults at a 5-star luxury resort. But these whiners here are no typical vacationers. Check out this compilation of some of the most hilariously outlandish hotel reviews ever, all of which will leave you in splits!
One visitor complained about his hotel having too many beautiful women who ended up distracting him. What’s more, he claims he had to pacify his wife back home by buying her expensive gifts!
“My wife caught me staring at people other than her on one too many occasions. I wasn’t aware there would be so many lovely looking ladies. We had a huge row on day five of our holiday and I had to buy her a lot of presents on our return to the UK to make it up for her. I had to take out a credit card for the gifts just so I could grovel,” he said.
Another customer was disgruntled because the cocktails were ‘too nice’. “The cocktails available on the all-inclusive at the hotel were so nice that I got really very drunk and made a complete fool of myself on the dance floor. It’s the most embarrassed I’ve ever been.”
And then we have a boyfriend who complained that getting a better tan than his girlfriend caused friction between them.
“The sun gave me a better tan than my girlfriend and she was really grumpy with me for half of the holiday for that reason. I tried to stay in the shade but when we came home I was still more bronzed than her so that was no good. We’re still together but it has knocked her confidence,” he said.
Here are few more, even funnier ‘complaints’. Happy laughing!
- ‘The international buffet as part of our all-inclusive booking gave us so much choice that I had at least two helpings every evening and, all in all, I put on two stone during the holiday. I’ve had to purchase new clothes and a gym membership since the holiday and I was wondering if you would be willing to cover those costs.’‘I collected some shells on the beach and later realised that two of them still had something living inside them. I was very alarmed.’
- ‘The two swimming pools were so inviting that I often jumped in when I got too hot sunbathing. However, this meant I constantly had to re-apply my sun cream and I ran out more quickly than I thought.’
- ‘My boyfriend and I felt that the staff and locals were far too friendly and nice to us. Because of this we found people back home in the UK to be even more rude and unpleasant when we returned and it made us sad.’
- ‘The sea was too warm and so when I tried to take a dip to cool down I was still hot.’
- ‘The air conditioning in the room was too chilly and we didn’t pack any warm clothes, so we were often cold.’ (Psst… did we mention that this particular hotel did NOT have a centralised AC system?)
- ‘The maid kept our room too clean and spotless. We like living in a bit of a pig sty on holiday because it’s the one and only time we don’t have to give a damn.’
- ‘The gym facilities were better than my husband’s gym back home and so he was constantly in there and I was left alone a lot in the day time. It was quite boring for me as I was just waiting around for him loads on a sun lounger.’
- ‘I fell in love with one of the stray dogs on the resort and was heartbroken when I had to leave him. I wanted to bring him back to the UK to be our pet and I wasn’t warned that there would be so many cute cats and dogs walking around. As an animal lover, it made my departure from the hotel even more difficult.’
- ‘There were so many complimentary activities at our hotel like water sports and things that we barely saw our teenage sons. It really ruined the whole family holiday feel.’