Most of us contended souls will be troubled if asked to find faults at a 5-star luxury resort. But these whiners here are no typical vacationers. Check out this compilation of some of the most hilariously outlandish hotel reviews ever, all of which will leave you in splits!
One visitor complained about his hotel having too many beautiful women who ended up distracting him. What’s more, he claims he had to pacify his wife back home by buying her expensive gifts!
“My wife caught me staring at people other than her on one too many occasions. I wasn’t aware there would be so many lovely looking ladies. We had a huge row on day five of our holiday and I had to buy her a lot of presents on our return to the UK to make it up for her. I had to take out a credit card for the gifts just so I could grovel,” he said.
Another customer was disgruntled because the cocktails were ‘too nice’. “The cocktails available on the all-inclusive at the hotel were so nice that I got really very drunk and made a complete fool of myself on the dance floor. It’s the most embarrassed I’ve ever been.”
And then we have a boyfriend who complained that getting a better tan than his girlfriend caused friction between them.
“The sun gave me a better tan than my girlfriend and she was really grumpy with me for half of the holiday for that reason. I tried to stay in the shade but when we came home I was still more bronzed than her so that was no good. We’re still together but it has knocked her confidence,” he said.
Here are a few more, even funnier ‘complaints’. Happy laughing!
- “We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
- “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow, but it was white.”
- “You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain.”
- “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
- “I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.”
- “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
- “The water in the Gulf of Mexico was too salty. No one told me that there was going to be salt in the water. It was gross.”
- “Why doesn’t everyone speak English? We went to
- Spain and no one understood English. We will never go back there again.”
- “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
- “We went to a Mexican restaurant in Rome and the waiter was Italian. You assured us Italy was the best place for an authentic food experience.”
- “The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?”
- “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
- “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
- “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers — will we be okay staying there?”
- “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment, and ours was significantly smaller.”
- “You told us that there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room.”
- “The street signs weren’t in English. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.”